Take some fashion advice from your friends at Realtree and rock those camo Crocs with pride
People who wear Crocs are often maligned for their poor fashion tastes. But the maligners don’t seem to realize that for all the perks of wearing Crocs, none is greater than the pride that comes from upsetting someone who would comment on fashion. Well, except for maybe the way the bumps on the insoles of a brand-new pair of clogs feel on your bare feet.
Crocs have been worn as ironic statements by entertainers, and they have been spotted on the feet of political figures from both sides of the aisle. But there’s a good reason why so many Crocs come in camo. There is no finer shoe for the deck of a boat or to wear while putzing around a hunting camp. Some say the holes in the tops of Crocs are where dignity escapes. But if you’ve ever seen a good speckled Crocs tan, you know the holes are actually where the sunlight shines in. Most Croc wearers don’t like being stuck indoors, and so they’ve adapted all sorts of scenarios to be totally appropriate for Crocs, including these 10.
- WHILE PREPARING A 5-STAR MEAL
Michael Pendley is handy in a kitchen, whether it’s indoors or out. Not only does he cook for events like weddings and hunting camps, he’s Realtree’s long-time chef and author of the Timber 2 Table Wild Game Recipes blog. Here’s what he had to say about wearing Crocs: “They’re on my feet anytime I’m in the kitchen. Of course, they’re also on my feet anytime I’m doing anything else. I have a pair of really nice leather ones that I wear if we’re going somewhere fancy.”
- TO A JOB INTERVIEW
Ever wonder what it’s like to work for Realtree? Sometimes, it’s odd. When I started working for them years ago, the PR director invited me to a Georgia deer camp to size me up. Soon as I got there, he said, “Grab your rifle. We’re going for a walk.” He then donned a pair of MAX-4 camo Crocs and waded right off into the Georgia greenery, telling me the whole way that “These are my favorite shoes, and selling camo ain’t easy, kid.” We did not see any deer, but we did walk up on a pair of giant, breeding cane brake rattlesnakes, which we stood and watched for 10 minutes. He also noted that Crocs are perfect for still-hunting, allowing you to feel every twig before you snap it and give away your position. I’ve never had a more memorable job “interview” before or since.
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- IN A HUNTING BLIND
I like scaling mountains and lacing up my boots for a backcountry adventure as much as anyone. But you know what I like even more? Watching a deer feeder from a box blind in Texas. It’s easy enough to keep boots and socks stashed in the corner if you need them. But for the long wait in between, it’s Crocs for me.
- WHILE WEARING SOCKS
Maybe you’ve been told that Crocs are tacky to wear with socks. But it’s 2023, and hasn’t the definition of what’s tacky become something of a moving target? Wear those socks up to your knees, if you please. If you’re particularly antagonistic, pair some good wool hunting socks with fleece-lined, insulated Crocs to check the mail on a winter’s day.
- WHILE PLAYING IN THE MUD
Avoiding slippery, muddy conditions because you’re wearing Crocs is like owning a Jeep that never leaves pavement. All Classic Clogs come with a built-in 4-wheel-drive option. To engage, simply remove the shoe, swing the 4-wheel-drive lever to the rear, put the shoe back on, and proceed with confidence.
- WHILE SWATTING MURDER HORNETS
Remember spring of 2020, when we couldn’t get quite enough hysteria and so the New York Times wrote a story warning everyone about the impending invasion of murder hornets? These 2-inch invasive wasps were said to be extremely aggressive, with stingers big enough to puncture a beekeeper’s suit. But Croc wearers weren’t scared. We knew that, when held by the heel and swung swiftly, the Croc was one of the best of all tools for mashing the guts out of a stinging insect, murder hornets included. Wearing them provided some “just-in-case” comfort for the times, like donning a cloth mask while alone in a car.
- WHILE BOWFISHING
You’ve not had a really good day of bowfishing unless the amount of slime and gore on your boat borders on offensive. Know what’s more offensive? The stench of that same slime and gore after being baked into a pair of tennis shoes. There is no recourse but to dispose of them, but that’s only if your garbage service doesn’t dump you. Of course, the alternative is to just wear Crocs. No matter how soaked and slimy they get, a good sloshing in the lake will have them good as new.
- WHILE BEING COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF
Back before secret laptops and mean tweets, a sitting president’s choice of footwear could be a real political liability — not that President George W. Bush gave a flip about that. He was famously photographed while wearing a pair of black Crocs with socks that were emblazoned with the presidential seal.
- WHILE LOOKING FOR YOUR “GOOD PAIR” OF CROCS
If there’s any word of caution for new Crocs owners, it would be that it’s easy to lose them (especially if they’re camouflaged). That’s why you should never throw away an old pair of Crocs. It’s good to have backup pairs for hunting camp, the boat, to put next to the beer fridge out in the shop, and for wearing while you search for your primary pair.
- WHILE SIPPING KEYSTONE LIGHT AND WATCHING YOUR KID MOW THE LAWN
Speaking of beer, did you know that you can get cans of Keystone Light decorated in Realtree Camo? Just saying. Kick back, enjoy a cold brew and cozy feet, and do some delegating once the sun dries the grass out good. Keep the lines in that invasive zoysia grass straight, kid.
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